Revision for Failure

One game. Away at Wilton. We had been there for hours because of a rain delay, which of course made us want to win even more on top of the rivalry.  This game was big. They scheduled us for their senior night (you always schedule a team you think you will beat for senior night) and that only fed our desire to beat these cocky opponents. The game was a great one to watch. Back and forth the whole way, we eventually made our way to the fourth quarter. Although we were losing the whole game, we fought our way back and scored 5 unanswered goals in the third and most of the fourth quarter to take the lead.

I remember the feeling like it happened yesterday. The first time a scrawny sophomore was in a big game with a big rival. This was the first time I felt the fire inside me of wanting the WIN. I usually just went with the team as they got fired up and just went through the motions, but this time, it was real.

We had possession with about 45 seconds left in the game. I had already scored three goals and had a couple of assists that game, so I was feeling very high and mighty. Chris swings the ball around to me, and they immediately send a double team to force the turnover and give their team a chance. In the top right corner of the box, I am being hammered by two senior long poles, and I finally am able to escape. I get through, run to the net--with no slide in sight-- and take the shot. The goalie saved the ball, sent it down the field to one of the defenders that was previously trying to hack me into the ground, and he was off. It seemed like the longest play of my life as I watched the defender run down and pass the ball off to the attackman who absolutely sniped the top left corner of the goal to tie the game just as the clock expired. I felt like I had just thrown the interception to lose the Super Bowl.

This is one of the times in my career that I honestly felt that I messed up so badly and actually let down all of my teammates. I made the complete wrong decision, and I was selfish. I had scored so often that game and played so well that I wanted to wow our fans and silence theirs with one play and make them all say, “Who is that number six???” I made the play for me, and let my teammates down. Had Chris not made an amazing  life-saving shot in the overtime, I would have felt even more demoralized. The right decision for me to make would have been to just run away from the double team and passed it off to one of my teammates as we ran down the last 45 seconds or so. Or I should have split the defenders like I did and ran to open space and wait for the clock to run out. Both of those options would have won us the game, but neither of them were the path I chose.

I really cannot even describe why I decided to make this play. Looking back, it seems to have been caused by my lack of experience in the big games, and my lack of knowledge for the game. This of course did not sit well with me, so I began to watch film every day and asked a million questions of my coach to fully understand the game I was playing. I will not be put in a situation on the lacrosse field where I am not sure what to do ever again, and this failure was the reason why.

Failure

Last year was a tough year for me on the lacrosse team. Even though I was starting for our varsity team, I did not feel like I was good enough to play with the other kids at that level. It was extremely intimidating, and actually pretty frightening. I was a stick who got injured every other game because I grew so much and my body was not ready for the development. 

I specifically remember one game, at Wilton, where I considered myself to have failed. Yes, we won in over time, and yes, I had three goals and an assists, but I cannot help to look back at that game as a failure. This is the reason why:

There were about 45 seconds left in the game, and we have the ball up by one goal. Chris swings the ball around and it gets to me on the outside, and the Warriors begin pressuring me with two long poles to take the ball from me. I was so far out that I knew if I got past these two defenders, I could get to the goal and take a good shot. The truth was, no shot at that point was a good shot. I was selfish and I split the defenders, went to the goal and the goalie saved it. He passed to one of the defenders that was on me and he ran all the way down and scored. This pushed the game into over time, where even  though we won, did not sit well with me on the bus back. I felt as if I failed my team, and if I was not bailed out by an amazing play by our offense, I would have the rest of the team adding to my self-guilt.

The reason I failed was because of my ego and my mind telling me to score the goal to put the game away and be the hero. This was not at all the right play to make. What I should have done is passed the ball off to the next man and helped my team run the clock out so we could win right there. My awareness was not at the level it needed to be at, leading to my failure. 

After this game, I went home and watched a ton of film of full games, talked with my coach and my brother who are always the ones I go to about issues with the game, and I made sure that in every game I played after this I did whatever was necessary for the team to win, because that should always be the ultimate goal. This failure turned me into a selfless player no longer looking to make the highlight play, but rather make the play that gets the job done. 

What's a Phineas?

For this assignment, I decided to take advantage of one of my teacher's examples and watch a ton of Phineas and Ferb over vacation (and I am happy to say I haven't slowed down as school starts again). Aside from plainly being entertained, I was able to learn a lot about the cartoon industry, and particularly about their message towards the children.

A very big part of television is how the writers portray the characters when it comes to social status and style of living. In Phineas and Ferb, there are people of different social classes, but there is no way the audience can tell based on money or struggle. The way the writers tell us about the social class is through the personalities. For example, Buford seems like a troubled kid. He is a good kid, but a bit of a bully. He is not as smart as the other characters, and definitely comes from a different style of living. He wears different clothes, talks differently, and has different intentions (particularly not too nice ones). Of course, this is not consistent throughout every episode, as the writers need to switch it up and make him the nice one in certain episodes. But in general, it is obvious to the audience that he comes from a different life than Phineas or Ferb, and especially Beljeet. Beljeet is an interesting case in this show as well. He appears to come from an Indian family, and is definitely made out to be the most book smart and studious of the bunch. However, he is not the most social, and would not be considered the "coolest." But the great thing about this show is how the writers take all of these characters with complete positive and negative traits, and make them all get along. This is simply showing the audience that it is okay to be different, because you will find your friends that you get along with, and you will be accepted.

This particular show has an interesting way of showing success. The way the writers attempt to show success is through creativity, but it must be reinforced by good intentions. For example, Phineas and Ferb are without a doubt incredibly creative, and they have great intentions, which is why they never get into trouble and have a great time in every episode. On the other hand, Candace shows very little creativity, and has bad intentions (to expose her little brothers to their mom and get them in trouble). Again, this is not the case in every episode. In one episode I watched, Candace realized that trying to get them caught was not necessary this time, and maybe it would be a good idea to work with them instead of against them. Out of all of the episodes, this is the one I would point out Candace to be most successful, because she was able to let go of her bad intentions and just have a good time. On another side of the show, Dr. Doofenshmirtz (I'll just call him Doof) rarely ever sees success. He has every bit of creativity as Phineas and Ferb, but he makes it clear in every episode that he has a bad intention. This is why we always see Doof as the bad guy, and he always ends up losing at the end of the episode. Maybe if he would stop trying to take over the Tri-State Area, Doof would actually be successful and happy, like Phineas and Ferb.

Football

One of the most interesting jobs in the world is that of an NFL football player. The hard work and dedication of them is almost unmatched in the modern work world. During the season you spend 6-7 hours a day building up your body and preparing for Sunday afternoon, and then spend another 2-3 hours preparing your mind for the same affair. By the time they get home they are exhausted and almost have no time to spend with their families who have been waiting all day for them to come home. These men dedicate their entire life during the season to the game, and have very little time for other things to do. Even in the off-season, it is very rare for them to get long vacations or time off. Whether they are required to or not, they almost are always in the gym or on the field. They need to stay in shape so that come Fall, they are ready to go full speed and keep their job.
And that is another interesting thing about these players. They can be cut at virtually any time if they do not fit the cut of what their team requires from them. Imagine that, being able to lose your job and your stability at any time of the year because you were out worked by the next guy. The worst thing that happens to these guys is they can easily go from millionaires to homeless people if they land on their right leg funny and tear their ACL. It must put some pressure on them to compete and stay healthy-- the fact that they can lose it all in one 6 second play.
But, when you think about it, football is a pretty cool thing to do all day. You get millions of dollars to be role models for kids and get trained all day to become one of the best athletes in the world. Not only that, but you walk on to the field and hear everybody root for you and your team. You can watch TV and listen to them talk about your amazing abilities, or even walk into a local bar and sign a hundred autographs. Whatever you want, you can have. That must be a great way to make a living.

Thinking, Fast and Slow

Thinking, Fast and Slow

This book is a great one in many aspects. Although it lacks a plot or an interesting to follow story line, this piece of non-fiction literature was very informative as well as amazing. The best aspect of this book is definitely the content. It is just so interesting! You can learn about the two systems of the mind, tendencies that practically every human being follows, and really find out more about yourself and the way you think. The benefits of this book are amazing in the fact that they open up your thinking process and almost every chapter answers the question "Why?" in a different way. Thinking, Fast and Slow is very interesting and very easy to relate to.
With that being said, no book is perfect. So it must have its down sides. My least favorite aspect is the dragging vocabulary used in this book. Yes, the concepts are very interesting, but the way it is worded and the length with which it is worded may make it a little more difficult to follow than other pieces of writing. There were multiple times where I felt the author and elongated a sentence which made it sound more intelligent, but not necessarily more relative. I think if the author had used more common words and phrases, and maybe more examples to make the reader understand, this book would have been much improved.

Although, to rebut my point about the least interesting part of the book, the intended audience of this book is definitely filled with people who know about the mind, are more interested in the mind and human behavior, and are willing to read through those unique words in order to understand the concepts better. I am probably not a part of this audience, because I have no recent history in studying these aspects of life, nor do I understand completely every point made. But the reason I read this book was so I would be able to join that audience, and this non-fiction piece of art has introduced me to a brand new way of thinking.

Given that audience, I think that this book is not very effective to the average person. It is hard to say that nobody without that background can like it because there are always exceptions, including myself, but it definitely does not come across as easy to read as other non-fiction books. If I were to rate this book I would give it a 9/10, because of the interesting nature of the content, the depth of the material, and the understanding it brings to the reader.

1.7 Dilemma

My Dilemma

If I were to go, I would be miserable

The whole day: my exhaustion

Could take over my learning power, and force

My GPA to decrease; this physics test

That I’ll miss will put me behind,

But right now, today,

I am not ready for it. I know

I must take it; but I am not feeling

Up to par, and, actually, not taking it

Could help me: I’ll spend the day

Studying and catching up in that class

And kill it tomorrow. But my mom trusts me;

First of all, she expects not to be fooled,

And even though this is good for me; I can’t, as her son,

Lie to her face and abuse her trust in me,

I cannot bring myself to. Besides, maybe I am

Better off being honest, and admitting

That I didn’t study for this, that I played

Video games instead, for no benefit, rather than

Preparing for the biggest test this year;

I feel bad, like I’ve lied to everybody,

Like even though it’ll help me, it’s wrong, no matter

How great the benefits are,

I shouldn’t be this dishonest,

I should come clean and man up. I need to take

This test and accept what comes, because I know

What’s right, which is more important than

Any old grade. 

Men

A man is so much more than just a male. He is held to a certain standard, and expected to have certain qualities if he wants to be considered "manly" which we almost all do. But the perceptions of this word and what it stands for are thought of so differently by different cultures and different people. So what do you need to be if you want to be a "man"?

In my culture, (which is basically just in my head) a man is somebody who is never looked down upon, and uses bravery, intelligence, strength, and social skills in a respected manor. No, you do not need to put out a burning building to be considered brave. You don't need to score a 2400 on your SATs to be intelligent. You don't have to be superman to demonstrate strength, nor must you know everyone in the world to have good social skills. The thing that separates my vision of a man as opposed to everybody else's, is their ability to act on a given situation, and create the best possible outcome for everybody-- and putting themselves last. I consider a man to be brave when he will stand up for a cause that society or a group of people has already made up their mind on. I enjoy seeing a man with an open mind, not afraid to share what is on it, whether it make everybody else around him happy or not. I consider a man to be intelligent when he is able to get out of a bad situation with minimal consequences, or by using his unique brain to put himself or others in a great position. My brother is one of the manliest men I know in this sense, from getting us out of trouble with stupid little things with my parents like staying out too late, to getting the both of us out of the party when he knew people were getting out of control and it would not end well. I consider a man to be strong when he is always the one to look to when you need to hear "It will be okay." My dad does this all the time, with any circumstance. Even if it is as small as when I was not sure if I can get all my homework done, to as big as when my grandmother died, he is always there telling me everything will work out. And when I say a man should be socially skilled, I mean that he is able to talk about anything with anyone, never endure awkward moments, and make the best of meeting new people. My father does this all the time with meeting my new friends and talking to them or their dads and keeping a conversation alive and being a well-liked man.

I think that these expectations are very hard on men, but most men that I meet are up to the challenge. They like the result which is being considered manly and well-liked and are willing to make that small sacrifice. But these qualities are not found in every man, and this could either be because not all people expect what I do, or because not all men see it necessary. But certainly the men in my life follow these codes and I respect them greatly for it. I think that most men believe they have some responsibilities, but not nearly as many as society thinks they should. They do the right thing for the most part and are respectful and brave in some aspects, but not to the extent they are expected to by some people, of course with a few exceptions.